Finance Analyst Gifts

Board Meeting

'It's just that when I said 'show me the money'...I imagined more money.'

'You're a show-off Cameron!'

'Then the king rewrote the tax code so everyone could understand it, and all the CPAs went out of business.'

"Projected profits...er, no I'm afraid it's our maternity payout forecast."

No Cheap Fuel Ahead: Easy Street Ends.

Cut Price

"This just in... All new Euro notes are to be printed on Greece-proof paper."

"We've made it more hellish by modeling it after corporate workplaces."

'If it's faulty just bring it back and we'll give the tax payer a full refund.'

'Even if you were an Enron stock... I would place you right at the top on the portfolio of my heart'!

Tomorrow's weather will not be good, so why not stay at home and enjoy the economy?

'Following details of our financial outlook, entertainment will be provided by Walt's All Jug Band.'

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

'Perhaps this graph will help you appreciate the jagged mountain range I climbed on my vacation.'

Falling graphs.

Falling Stock.

"Privare equity bought the dam and jacked up rent. Nests are next."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

Great Chinese Dynasties

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'