Finance Nerds Gifts

'You're saving us a fortune in income taxes.'

'Well...I've added up our finances...and I don't think a Federal Bail-out could even help us.'

The day the stock market went UP.

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Great Chinese Dynasties

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

The Shrinking Dollar.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Slipping and sliding down the slope...

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"He'll do anything to say in power."

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

'I suppose we've got to keep a sense of perspective. The Greeks waste our money, the French merely spend it.'

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

'The bad news is that we lost a lot of money last quarter... The good news is that it was a record.'

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

Standard & Poor

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

'This graph may need some explaining...'

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

"One question, what's a share option?"

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."