Investment Nerd Gifts

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Investment Firm's sign, 'No guts, no glory'.

The dow went over 10,000...

"The Stock Market made a killing on me!"

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Profit

Great Chinese Dynasties

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Wall Street Couch

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Day trading.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

'Yes, it is large for a smart phone, but then it does do absolutely everything.'

Men on escalators reading newspapers, shares are going up on the up escalator and down on the down escalator.

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'