Finance Manager Gifts

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Looks good. Let me run it past the number-crunchers.'

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

'Our CFO isn't available. He left the company to join the Witness Protection Program.'

'I know figures don't lie. Your job is to make them.'

'We are on the road to recovery. We just happen to be going against the traffic.'

'Ragrding our cash-flow problewm, it's agreed then...Sims enters the bank at 10am, Riggs will follow, and Yates drives the getaway car...'

'Since I plan on working for your company for the next 20 years, I was hoping to get all my paychecks up front.'

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

'Accounting has suggested we standardize our billing procedure.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Will you stop 'tutting' until I've finished my report."

"Oh, that three billion dollars."

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

"Can you estimate how much money you'll need for your mid-life crisis?"

'Gibbs, I subracted your federal, state and social security taxes and medical from your paycheck, and you owe the firm $50.'

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

"Well, there it is in black and white - we're in the red."

"We don't need to reinvent the wheel - just the earnings report."

"All this financial analysis is driving me bats."

Bully to classmate: 'Rising expenses will force me to beat an extra five cents out of you.'

'I've hit on a way to finance our start-up costs.'

'I'm the most popular employee in the company...I work in payroll services.'

'It says here you were finance manager for your fellow inmates on cell block 3. This does raise other concerns.'

Kate had originally been very enthusiastic to prepare the annual global audit plan.

Piggy Bank Coin I.V.

'If they have been 'throwing money away at the schools' they certainly have been missing this place.'

Principal with 'budget cuts' in-tray and 'creative solutions' out-tray.

'Have you got the accounts right yet?' - 'Yes, but I had to put in three mistakes to make them balance.'

Number 2 in a series of unlikely events: "There's more money in the budget than we know what to do with so you don't need to ask me every time you just need to spend a few hundred quid."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"It's my fund management arm."

'Great cash flow, Phil.'

Are you sure Milton Keynes is not a tax haven?