Film Plotting Gifts

"Love me some Earth!"

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

Horror movies

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

No-Work Orange

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Comedy Cafe

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Stand-up Romcom

Cut!

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"Bloody hell!"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."