Film Plotting Prints

"Love me some Earth!"

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Benedict Cumberbatch

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Horror movies

No-Work Orange

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Comedy Cafe

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Stand-up Romcom

Working in the Hazard Zone!

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"Bloody hell!"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."