Film Director Enthusiast Gifts

Sylvester Stallone

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Director/Action Man toy.

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Herman Mankiewicz

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Stand-up Romcom

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Getting to Know You

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Steve McQueen

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

Canadian film production

This side is the gag reel.

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."