Film Directors Gifts

Movies About Military Families

Woody Allen

Alfred Hitchcock

"Looks like we found the issue."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

James Bond in a Snow Globe

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

Director/Action Man toy.

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Golfing Boss

Bo're'droom

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

Horror movies

No-Work Orange

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"