Film Director Gifts

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

"OK, we need the body double for the eating scene."

"I just don't think a giant flaming blob of alien ectoplasm would say that."

"Whatta you mean 'minor script changes?' It's supposed to be a western."

'I know you're watching the budget, but this isn't really doing justice to the battle of Waterloo.'

"Could you ask the driver to slow down we're trying to film 'Great Railway Journeys' here.

Driver sees computer grid replacing landscape ahead. Road sign reads: 'Computer Simulation Next 2 Miles.'

A 1920's film director with hand-cranked camera and megaphone.

Chairs read 'Director (movie)' and 'Director (sycophantic DVD extras)'.

"You can chase your accounting dream later, son. Your mother and I just want you to finish film school."

"The trailer didn't live up to the teaser."

Computer wheeled down red carpet at film premiere. TV presenter says: 'Now, at last, here comes the real star of the movie!'

'A page from Sylvester Stallone's newest film script.'

"Okay H.D. - break a leg."

'I forgot - is this a movie set, or the real thing?'

'Roll'em!' (dice on movie set)

"Hallelujah, I'm a believer!"

Directors Chair and Others.

"… and the last item on the pre-nuptial aggreement is, … he wants final cut on all home videos."

'Alfred Hitchhiking.'

Hollywood - the early years

"Look, I love the city, too, but wouldn't it be cheaper to shoot this in Canada?"

Sloth Studios - "Lights! camera! inaction!"

'Cut!' (movie studio director)

Sign outside a movie studio: Standing in line Auditions.

A movie director shouting through bullhorn.

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

Oscars acceptance speech.

Directing a wildlife documentary.

"I love my luvvie."

'Lucky we got Clam to circle the wagons.'

The 2024 Deepfake awards

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

Gangster's To-Do List