Film Club Member Gifts

Previews: They get longer and longer until. . . there is no movie.

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

The Dorrie Decimal System

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

Isabel Allende

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

"Spoiler alert."

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

'What do you mean, 'pass the remote control'?... We're at the cinema!'

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'

'It's very fast-paced. The book was over before I could finish reading it.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"You'll learn a lot at our book club...like how to read between the wines."

"Are you sure this is a Film Noir"

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

The Colonel reading Clive's letters to the ladies of the regiment.