Film Awards Gifts

"And now, the award for 'Best Movie about a bunch of really stupid guys'...."

"Bond James, Bond."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Herman Mankiewicz

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

No-Work Orange

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

Horror movies

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

Comedy Cafe

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

Stand-up Romcom

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"Bloody hell!"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Werewolves of London..."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."