Movie Awards Enthusiast Gifts

'We worship celebrity!' People bow down in front of a TV showing the academy awards.

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Showbiz Awards

Herman Mankiewicz

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'Guess what? I won again.'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

Soccer coach of the year.

'It's a 'Free Willy From Hollywood' petition: Would you please sign it...'

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

The Directors Gut.

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

Barbie Oscars

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."