Movie Awards Enthusiast Gifts

'We worship celebrity!' People bow down in front of a TV showing the academy awards.

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'Guess what? I won again.'

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

Soccer coach of the year.

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

"The cape comes off too."

'It's a 'Free Willy From Hollywood' petition: Would you please sign it...'

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'

Geoffrey Rush

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

Barbie Oscars

Barry Norman

'...well you say you're Stephen Hawking but as Eddie Redmayne said he was going to turn up in character we're not too sure."

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

The Directors Gut.

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'