Film Aficionado T-Shirts

"Why on earth would you spring for color film?"

Duelling Banjos.

The limits of power

Welcome to Hollywood

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

"I'm sorry. We don't want a ring-tailed lemur. We want a ring-tailed-lemur type."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"I'm a big film buff."

Canadian film production

'Awesome! This managing change scenario sounds just like a John Malkovich movie.'

Producer, Director and Egomaniac Chair

"Bloody hell!"

Bates Motel Birdhouse

'Funeral Director'

"Caw blimey Missus"-"He's a Carry-On Crow"

Some catholic like it hot

"Yes! This is 'Understanding Film Noir', and, yes ! I am Dr. Behan. Now will you please shut the door!"

Cluck Norris in...LAYED in ACTION!

'Your script is a completely unimaginitive, hackneyed rag, and therefore we're prepared to pay you top dollar for it.'

"I can't decide if that was bad in a good way, good in a good way, good in a bad way, or bad in a bad way."

"He's one of those supposedly good actors who isn't."

"Oh, god. . . not another night at home watching Ingmar Bergman films!"

Four Weddings and a Funeral and a Bag of Popcorn and a Coke

"Although the depiction of gangland activity in this film is not accurate over all, I would like to go on record as saying that I am not entirely displeased with Mr. Robert De Niro's portrayal of a gentleman whom I take to have been a former associate of yours truly."

"I'm just not in an Australian-movie mood, O.K.?"

"Film blanc."

"It's hard to explain the movie. She takes her clothes off, then he takes his clothes off. They talk – it's politicized talk. Six months later they are in Budapest. He takes her clothes off, she takes his clothes off. Troops are marching outside."

"Excuse me, folks - could I see your tickets?"

Buddy Operas.

"Katharine, I'm going to be completely frank about the film, even though you bought the tickets."

Film Critic

Two chairs on a film set labeled with "Producer" and "Director" next to rows of chairs labeled "Hanger-on"

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

"He will be greatly missed, both on and off the screen."

"Tell me again—which blond actress is she the blond-actress daughter of?"