Art Film Aficionado T-Shirts

'If movies are supposed to depress the hell out of you, then what's life for?'

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

You're my Mona Lisa.

Copycats

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Paul Klee

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Cariactures

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

(Camel paintings)

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

German Expressionist Breakfast

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"Mr. Right!"

Distractions Of The Great

Horti-Culture

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Bloody hell!"

Baroque Peacock