Filing Taxes Gifts

Me Doing My Taxes

'I may feel like a million bucks, but after taxes I look like two dollars and fifteen cents.'

"Sorry, folks, but I'll have to see your tax return."

Tax Returns R Us - 'Sign here but don't press too hard. The desk is inflatable.'

The Buck Stops here.

"E. R., ACME Accounting: 11:57 P.M., April 14th"

Tax Preparer Pleases A Circus Ringmaster

The New Simplified Tax Return!...Step 1: Calculate income from all sources...Step 2: Send it.

"Oh, no. Death AND taxes."

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

I'm afraid neatness doesn't count, Mrs Wilson

'Eloise! This feller says he's 'a gent named Iris' and wants to talk to us about Texas.'

Everybody pays taxes.

'Income tax prepared here!'

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

"Can you hack into the IRS and give me a bigger refund?"

IRS: 'Life isn't fair.' - John F. Kennedy

'You'd be grouchy too if you awoke from a nice long nap and had to file income taxes.'

'Excuse my maths won't you?'

Come in, Mr. Hancock - I've just been reading you tax return.

No dependents, no deductions, no credits.... It doesn't get any better than this!

'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

IRS. 'You added penalties and interest all right, but you forgot to include inflation.'

"Hey, Fred, Joan, Les, Harry, Debbie, Doris, Sid, come and listen to THIS!

'I'd sort of like to simplify my life myself, but I resent the government doing it!'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

IRS, 'Here's your refund, sir, minus postage and handling.'

Disaster strikes in Utica, N.Y., when 10 people become wedged in a mailbox as they attempt to mail their taxes by midnight on the 15th.

IRS. Pay Taxes Here. It's the amount owe

Less than three weeks until taxes are due and we still have pils of complicated returns to finish! Of course, the three little pigs are looking for a new shelter again. Peter Pan is claiming he's exempt from payroll taxes because he'll never reach social security age. And with the complex rules for miners, ironically, we can't use the short form for the seven dwarfs! I'll never find time to do the return for our client, Rapunzel! Don't worry about getting Rapunzel's return done right now.

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."