Patent Filing Gifts

"Congratulations on your invention...but you don't have to rub it in."

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"What's a patent?"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Late/Too Late.

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

In, out, shake it all about.

"I'm Necessity and this is my son, Invention."

Deskboxes: 'LATE' and 'NEVER'.

The man who invented the wheel/The man who patented the wheel.

In - Out - Pending.

I'm afraid neatness doesn't count, Mrs Wilson

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

In/Out Tray.

'Ah, the Bermuda Rectangle for files.'

'Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?'

'I'm afraid this new self you reinvented has already been patented.'

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

Joe's Bar: Not Responsible For Lost or Stolen Intellectual Property.

Patents office.

Academics at the Beach: Professor Stints wears his patented total sun-blocking suit.

Cat and INOUT boxes.

In and Out Box

"We think your telephone is a great invention, Mr Bell, but is a bit basic. How about adding a phonograph to it?"

'Apparently, the next guy has invented a time machine!'

Records?