Patent Approval Gifts

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"What's a patent?"

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

"I'm Necessity and this is my son, Invention."

The man who invented the wheel/The man who patented the wheel.

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

'I'm afraid this new self you reinvented has already been patented.'

Joe's Bar: Not Responsible For Lost or Stolen Intellectual Property.

Patents office.

"We think your telephone is a great invention, Mr Bell, but is a bit basic. How about adding a phonograph to it?"

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

Academics at the Beach: Professor Stints wears his patented total sun-blocking suit.

'Apparently, the next guy has invented a time machine!'

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

Money Tree

'It's okay, they're with me.'

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

'He's a real stickler for punctuality. He got really annoyed when I was late for an appointment, next week.'

Patents office

Patent Office: ". . . It's a phoneless cord."

"Here's my wallet, my phone, the key to the safe and an application form for your so-called 'mind control device.'"

The night they invented champagne.

'Quit if you want, Bowman, but the intellectual property stays here.'

"It's going to be my revolutionary triple blade design"

'No, actually THIS invented me!'

"Congratulations on your invention...but you don't have to rub it in."

Man with lots of hair, holding a bottle of hair tonic waits outside of the patents office.

"It's a time machine. I came to show it to you next week but you were busy."

'Your two o'clock cheeseseeking missle is here.'

Patent attorney tries a murder case': "You say footprints from a fleetline running shoe (pat. pending) were found outside the wetha-gard window (pat. no B14-300-T92)..."

'This lettuce will grow on Mars...by the way, find out if 'red lettuce' is copyrighted.'

Ab Lawson's Genetic Engineering Farm

'Here, you have it. I don't think I'll be using it again.'

"You're almost there, but as things stand I'm afraid I can't process your invisibility patent."