Patents Gifts

The night they invented champagne.

Money Tree

"Well, did you invent fire or simply discover a product of nature? It makes a difference..."

"It's going to be my revolutionary triple blade design"

'Mine's a time machine. I pop in to see if there are any good ideas, then go back and file the patent first.'

Man with lots of hair, holding a bottle of hair tonic waits outside of the patents office.

Love Potion Rushed to the Patents Office.

"Let me see you fly around the block a few times - then we'll talk business!"

'He's a real stickler for punctuality. He got really annoyed when I was late for an appointment, next week.'

Well yes, I'm quite clever: I have over twenty patents to my name...

"Mr. Estes is unavailable. He's still pending."

"Sorry, your patent application for fire was rejected as it's obvious to a person of ordinary skill in the art of warmth."

"I'm sorry, it's already been done."

Academics at the Beach: Professor Stints wears his patented total sun-blocking suit.

Patent Office: ". . . It's a phoneless cord."

"I call it a 'Circus Peanut'."

"This could be a boon to mankind, especially - once we take out a patent on it - the mankind in this laboratory."

"I need an appointment."

'You'll have to disrobe... what I have here is a new improved Proctoscope.'

Patent attorney tries a murder case': "You say footprints from a fleetline running shoe (pat. pending) were found outside the wetha-gard window (pat. no B14-300-T92)..."

Man patents device, combination of beer automat and urinal

"Well, if you really can prove that you invented the wheel, you'll be due an awful lot of backdated royalty payments!"

'Apparently, the next guy has invented a time machine!'

Patents Officer.

'I'm a bit worried about young Frogthorpe. He's studying intellectual property law on his lunch break.'

"What's a patent?"

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'I told you it would be useful.'

The first car accident.

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Raincloud Umbrella

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'