Patent Agent Gifts

"Let me see you fly around the block a few times - then we'll talk business!"

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"I'm Necessity and this is my son, Invention."

The man who invented the wheel/The man who patented the wheel.

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

Meet Santa's entourage

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Snow White and her Seven people.

'I'm afraid this new self you reinvented has already been patented.'

Joe's Bar: Not Responsible For Lost or Stolen Intellectual Property.

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

Patents office.

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

'Therapy in L.A.'

Academics at the Beach: Professor Stints wears his patented total sun-blocking suit.

'Apparently, the next guy has invented a time machine!'

"We think your telephone is a great invention, Mr Bell, but is a bit basic. How about adding a phonograph to it?"

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'

'It's okay, they're with me.'

Money Tree

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

'Our new assignment is to get Iran and North Korea to blow each other up.'

'He's a real stickler for punctuality. He got really annoyed when I was late for an appointment, next week.'

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

CIA - Incognito/Outcognito.

"My agent."

"Yes, Your Honor. I am Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."