Patent Agent T-Shirts

"Let me see you fly around the block a few times - then we'll talk business!"

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"I'm Necessity and this is my son, Invention."

The man who invented the wheel/The man who patented the wheel.

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Meet Santa's entourage

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

Snow White and her Seven people.

'I'm afraid this new self you reinvented has already been patented.'

Joe's Bar: Not Responsible For Lost or Stolen Intellectual Property.

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

Patents office.

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'

'Therapy in L.A.'

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

Academics at the Beach: Professor Stints wears his patented total sun-blocking suit.

"We think your telephone is a great invention, Mr Bell, but is a bit basic. How about adding a phonograph to it?"

'Apparently, the next guy has invented a time machine!'

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

'It's okay, they're with me.'

Money Tree

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

'Our new assignment is to get Iran and North Korea to blow each other up.'

'He's a real stickler for punctuality. He got really annoyed when I was late for an appointment, next week.'

CIA - Incognito/Outcognito.

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."

'I told you I'd make you a star.'