Patent Pursuer T-Shirts

"Congratulations on your invention...but you don't have to rub it in."

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

'He's invented a new cocktail, trouble is he can't get as far as the patent office.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"I'd like to book 10 days going anywhere they've never heard of Brexit."

My God, I need to fart.

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"I'm Necessity and this is my son, Invention."

The man who invented the wheel/The man who patented the wheel.

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

Noise Pollution

'Want to make it two out of three?'

She required plenty of personal space.

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

'I'm afraid this new self you reinvented has already been patented.'

Joe's Bar: Not Responsible For Lost or Stolen Intellectual Property.

Patents office.

'The Karma of the marketplace is about to overwhelm the Dogma of policy making,'

Academics at the Beach: Professor Stints wears his patented total sun-blocking suit.

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

Money Tree

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

'Honey. . . I'm ommmmmmmmmmmmmmm.'

Patents office

The idea of a wo-man cave was looking better and better.

"It's going to be my revolutionary triple blade design"

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

Man with lots of hair, holding a bottle of hair tonic waits outside of the patents office.

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'