Patent Officer Gifts

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

"Don't get too excited. Your idea never really gets off the ground"

'Take it for a spin around the block and then we'll talk business!'

'No, actually THIS invented me!'

"I hate waiting, don't you?" (patents office)

'Of course you don't remember agreeing to see me regarding my time machine. You made the appointment next week.'

Bird drawing copyright symbols on her eggs

"Sorry, we're running a little behind."

"Chips. Disks. Semiconductors. Whatever became of contraptions?"

"Hello Mr Jenkins. Gentleman in reception to see you. Something about a plan he wants to copyright?"

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

"It's a time machine. I came to show it to you next week but you were busy."

'Isn't the weather lovely? It reminds me of the long hot summer of 2035.'

"Mr. Estes is unavailable. He's still pending."

"I'm sorry, it's already been done."

"I need an appointment."

"Call me a Benedict Arnold, but I've invented a better mouse trap."

'You'll have to disrobe... what I have here is a new improved Proctoscope.'

'It's pop-up toast rack.'

"We think your telephone is a great invention, Mr Bell, but is a bit basic. How about adding a phonograph to it?"

'Apparently, the next guy has invented a time machine!'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"What's a patent?"

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"I'm Necessity and this is my son, Invention."

The man who invented the wheel/The man who patented the wheel.

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

'Great idea, Philpott. Wish you'd thought of it.'

"I'm naming you VP of Revolution, Action and Edgy Thinking...on one condition...that you promise not to change anything."

'I'm afraid this new self you reinvented has already been patented.'

Joe's Bar: Not Responsible For Lost or Stolen Intellectual Property.