Patent Clerk Gifts

"I'm 'Necessity' and this is my son, 'Invention'."

"I call it a 'Circus Peanut'."

"I'm Necessity and this is my son, Invention."

Johnnie Ponderous -Part One

"I'm sorry, Sir - it's been done."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"Useless information"

The man who invented the wheel/The man who patented the wheel.

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

'I'm afraid this new self you reinvented has already been patented.'

Joe's Bar: Not Responsible For Lost or Stolen Intellectual Property.

Patents office.

Academics at the Beach: Professor Stints wears his patented total sun-blocking suit.

"We think your telephone is a great invention, Mr Bell, but is a bit basic. How about adding a phonograph to it?"

'It wasn't a hate crime, Your Honor — I actually kind of liked the guy.'

Cat and INOUT boxes.

'Apparently, the next guy has invented a time machine!'

Money Tree

'It's okay, they're with me.'

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

'He's a real stickler for punctuality. He got really annoyed when I was late for an appointment, next week.'

"Your illegal pursuit of happiness has resulted in a sentence of life without liberty!"

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

"He's a loose cannon with nothing left to lose, but he's the best damn file clerk I've ever seen."

Patents office