Patent Application Gifts

'Yes, sir, what can I do for you?'

"What's a patent?"

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"I'm Necessity and this is my son, Invention."

Caveman has a good idea for the wheel.

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

The man who invented the wheel/The man who patented the wheel.

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

'I'm afraid this new self you reinvented has already been patented.'

Joe's Bar: Not Responsible For Lost or Stolen Intellectual Property.

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

Patents office.

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

"We think your telephone is a great invention, Mr Bell, but is a bit basic. How about adding a phonograph to it?"

What do you think of the application so far?

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

'Apparently, the next guy has invented a time machine!'

Academics at the Beach: Professor Stints wears his patented total sun-blocking suit.

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

Money Tree

'It's okay, they're with me.'

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

'He's a real stickler for punctuality. He got really annoyed when I was late for an appointment, next week.'

"Will this job involve multiple choice, true and false, or essay questions?"

Patent Office: ". . . It's a phoneless cord."

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

Patents office

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

"Dean Williams, the grant committee approved my research grant to determine how many research grants are a waste of government money!"