Filing Maestro Gifts

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Records?

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

Mozart on a computer,

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

Editor.

InOutYada Yada.

'What does L.B.W. mean?'

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'What does the internet have against my people?'

Human Resources Dept: Full time/part time/over time/time and a half/time out.

"Your book stinks—we want to publish it."

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'What a wonderful day to declare chapter 13!'

Fenton always makes a backup hard copy of his mental notes.

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

'Your new book is full of mistakes: the critics will have a field day.'

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

"We'll publish your book, doctor, but we'll have to get a second opinion."

"Right here is where you lost the narrative flow."

'Welcome aboard, Peterson.'

Files.

'You will write a book, but it won't be on Oprah's recommended list.'

'Ms. Grimmett, I sort of liked the old filing system...in the file cabinets.'

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

File room: A subsidiary of the black hole of the universe

"Sure, if this was New York, I'd be your editor and you'd be the author - but this is L.A., so I'm your agent and you're the whatever."

"It doesn't work as a novel. But we're willing to publish it as a desk calendar."

Accountants can be fun!