Filing Master Gifts

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

InOutYada Yada.

Publisher to writer: 'It was a great read, except I collided with run-on sentences, tripped over broken English and got knocked about by a dangling participle.'

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

In trays read: Bluff/Blink.

"When you reach the bottom of the pile, you'll find this week's paycheck."

Human Resources Dept: Full time/part time/over time/time and a half/time out.

Records?

Cat and INOUT boxes.

"We need a better piling system."

"He's a loose cannon with nothing left to lose, but he's the best damn file clerk I've ever seen."

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

Trays 'IN' 'OUT' and 'Don't ask'

'Welcome aboard, Peterson.'

Files.

'Ms. Grimmett, I sort of liked the old filing system...in the file cabinets.'

"Here it is - my novel. I'll be interested to hear your compliments."