Office Maestro Gifts

'Write me a theme song and rig it so it plays when people enter my office.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

"The meeting will come to order."

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."