Fiery Personality Appreciator Pillows

'We've got a problem - They're starting to enjoy it.'

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

Wagging Dog

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

Countess

"What a coincidence! I enjoy sleeping and running around the house for no reason, too."

William Tell in his younger years.

'She'd put 'The fear of God' into God himself!'

'And remember, lady, down here the toilet seat stays up!'

'Please tell me you aren't my roommate.'

"It's not a sexual thing - I just enjoy dressing up in sheep's clothing."

Whatever

Will hell freeze over?

Angel kicked out of heaven, sent to Hell, on basis of 'creative differences.'

"Far out, they're literally playing with fire! No way they can survive as a species if they're so risk prone!"

'Oh yeah. . . she's the one that has a great personality.'

"I'll admit, he may be a bit odd, maybe even creepy. But, he is hands down the best bell ringer we've ever had."

"Santa gets away with it because it shakes like a bowl full of jelly, not beer."

Taste buds

'Hey! He's wearing shoes!!'

Sign on a shopper: 'Yes actually I do own the pavement'.

Beware of Anthropomorphic Dog

My job does not define me.

'i don't know why people find me offensive, you tell me, you silly old bad headed twit.'

'Old McAllister is a real crank -- he has a conspiracy theory about Tom Bodett.'

Pigtail Picture

'All of your issues are prickly issues.'

"Well, there are cat people and dog people and..."

'This is coming from someone who drinks from a toilet bowl.'

'Fight fire with fire is really just a saying...'

'As opposed to the subtler markings of the female.'

'I wish they'd look for a different virus. I'm just too gregarious to be isolated.'

Passive Aggressive

"He's a bit OCD with his spaghetti."