Prickly Personality Appreciator Pillows

'i don't know why people find me offensive, you tell me, you silly old bad headed twit.'

Passive Aggressive

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

Wagging Dog

Jarvis Cocker

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

A Prickly Pair

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'Puppies' at that playful stage where he likes to rearrange the furniture.'

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

The songwriter who wrote a bridge about his bridge.

'Yes, Super-Supreme pizza... Delivered please...'

"What a coincidence! I enjoy sleeping and running around the house for no reason, too."

Flatware Follies.

Man reacts to being goosed. Caption: The secret work of Doberman Pinschers

"I'm sorry but I can't bring the dessert menu until you at least try to finish your peas and carrots, it's policy."

'Please tell me you aren't my roommate.'

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

'Yuck! My creamed corn is polluting my mashed potatoes!'

'We've got a problem - They're starting to enjoy it.'

Foolish Sid turns to look, and is immediately tackled and devoured by the duck.

'Right, I'll see the chap who thinks he's a fly next.'

'Known in his youth as the 'Keister Bunny', due to the many atomic wedgies he received, Peter would become the greatest of all cottontails.'

'Dr Seuss is awarded a PHD.'

"It's not a sexual thing - I just enjoy dressing up in sheep's clothing."

"Are you binge watching again?"

'There there how were you to know it wasn't Jeremy Beadle.'

'Stopped a shoplifter today. Caught him red-handed.'

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principal's office. It's nothing personal. It's just a classroom management thing.'

'I like your style - How would you like to do some public service announcements?'

'It's either a crank call or some idiot's set his loin cloth on fire.'

'Oh yeah. . . she's the one that has a great personality.'

"Santa gets away with it because it shakes like a bowl full of jelly, not beer."

"Hello. This is the old man across the street. Get off my lawn!"