Jolly Personality Appreciator Pillows

"Santa gets away with it because it shakes like a bowl full of jelly, not beer."

Wagging Dog

Jarvis Cocker

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

Real Estate Personals

A gift for me? It's a cape because I think you're a superhero!

William Tell in his younger years.

Santa Claus walks dogs

John Prescott

'Wow, now I see why you're so jolly all the time.'

Santa saying to shrink - "I don't believe in myself."

'Please tell me you aren't my roommate.'

'We've got a problem - They're starting to enjoy it.'

"It's not a sexual thing - I just enjoy dressing up in sheep's clothing."

Log in, paper out.

"I'll admit, he may be a bit odd, maybe even creepy. But, he is hands down the best bell ringer we've ever had."

'You're in luck. It comes in Large, Extra Large and Bowl Full Of Jelly.'

'You don't know what a treat it is for me to run into you!'

'Oh yeah. . . she's the one that has a great personality.'

Taste buds

Sign on a shopper: 'Yes actually I do own the pavement'.

'This is coming from someone who drinks from a toilet bowl.'

'i don't know why people find me offensive, you tell me, you silly old bad headed twit.'

Beware of Anthropomorphic Dog

"It's been 300 years. I think I'm read to retire."

Help Support Santa Off-Season

"Well, there are cat people and dog people and..."

(Attack Dog) (It's about character stupid!)

'All of your issues are prickly issues.'

Pigtail Picture

'Old McAllister is a real crank -- he has a conspiracy theory about Tom Bodett.'

Notable noses Vol. 83.

'As opposed to the subtler markings of the female.'

The individual fruit pie

'I wish they'd look for a different virus. I'm just too gregarious to be isolated.'