Fielding Fan Gifts

'I had three catches dropped today.' - 'Yes, but the were dropped by spectators in the stand.'

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

Alternative fielding positions

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

"Tunnel of love"

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

Tunnel of Whale Guts

Men playing water football in barrels on a lake

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

Formula One car origami

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

Pig Trotter

Centaur Sprinter

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

We're not picking you up from field hockey. Take the late bus. Ok then. I'll get home at 8:30, miss dinner and have no time to study. I'll fail my classes, never get a job and live the rest of my life with you. Not true! You have a bright future as an extortionist. Or soap opera star!

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

'It's nice in a roundabout sort of way.'

'Are we ready to order?'

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'

Daily News Headline Dept. Editor. Here's a story about a guy who shaved his race horse to cut wind resistance, and the horse got a terrible sunburn. "A pony shaved is a pony burned"!

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

Tunnel of Love, Niagara Falls, NY.