Field Strategy Fan Gifts

'... And writing columns critical of the team, its coaches and its players...'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'Why can't we just kick Caesar upstairs?'

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

Men playing water football in barrels on a lake

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

"Business has been steady."

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...

Memo Mania

Carrot & nose on sticks.

Ref shows footballer green card.

'I envisioned something more robust'

'I had three catches dropped today.' - 'Yes, but the were dropped by spectators in the stand.'

'I'm afraid, Mr.Siimkins, that you have been badly advised - Birmingham is NOT a tax haven. . .'

"As fans we are smart enough to understand the game, but not smart enough to realize how unimportant it really is."

"He's just come back from a 'managing stress' course...He learnt all sorts of strategies for dealing with pressure...maybe he could show us some of them if he ever wakes up."

Striker Aims for the Wrong Goal

I don't know … some days it all feels like a big game.

'Never shoot straight up.'

Next Direction

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

"Your grass looks great."

For the War Inventions Board: The Shell-diverter for returning the enemy's fire.

'Look, thanks for your concern, but I think a flood is something we can cope with!'

'You've got it made - as long as it's made in China.'

"Why don't we settle this with rock, paper, scissors."

Javelin

Eustarch the Younger - the kid who brought the Trojan Horse in through the gates of Troy 'just to play with for a while'.

Naval Battle off Memphis, Leading to Capture of City