Management Strategy Fan Gifts

Carrot & nose on sticks.

"He's just come back from a 'managing stress' course...He learnt all sorts of strategies for dealing with pressure...maybe he could show us some of them if he ever wakes up."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

'He takes his organization chart seriously.'

Office temperature.

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."

'I started out as a yes man, but I've evolved into a plucky devil's advocate who always sides with the boss in the end.'

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

'I said, how do you like my new communication tool?'

'I can live with you not wanting to push the envelope, but your refusal to think outside the box...'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'I know it's easy to blame others. That's why I do it.'

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

"I don't know if they do or not. . . I've never opened it."

"We have a REALLY high turnover rate here."

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

'It's a real conundrum. Not sure if I should open it, or beat it.'

'It was at this point that I insisted all employees eat their vegetables.'

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

'I don't know what's going on, but wipe that look of restrained jubilation off your face!'

Thinking outside the box.

Company take-over bid

'I envisioned something more robust'

'I've added this up six times and still can't get it to balance!'

'I'm afraid, Mr.Siimkins, that you have been badly advised - Birmingham is NOT a tax haven. . .'

Domino Effect of Rising Gas Prices.

"Is there anything ELSE we can do to improve the workstations?"

'Middle managers play tennis.'

'He's particularly sensitive to criticism that the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing.'