Management Strategy Fan Gifts

Carrot & nose on sticks.

"He's just come back from a 'managing stress' course...He learnt all sorts of strategies for dealing with pressure...maybe he could show us some of them if he ever wakes up."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

'He takes his organization chart seriously.'

Office temperature.

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."

'I started out as a yes man, but I've evolved into a plucky devil's advocate who always sides with the boss in the end.'

"I don't want to insult your intelligence - I imagine that happens enough as it is."

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

'I said, how do you like my new communication tool?'

'I can live with you not wanting to push the envelope, but your refusal to think outside the box...'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'I know it's easy to blame others. That's why I do it.'

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

"I don't know if they do or not. . . I've never opened it."

"We have a REALLY high turnover rate here."

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

'It was at this point that I insisted all employees eat their vegetables.'

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...

'I don't know what's going on, but wipe that look of restrained jubilation off your face!'

'It's a real conundrum. Not sure if I should open it, or beat it.'

Memo Mania

Thinking outside the box.

'I've added this up six times and still can't get it to balance!'

'I envisioned something more robust'

Company take-over bid

I don't know … some days it all feels like a big game.

"Is there anything ELSE we can do to improve the workstations?"

'I'm afraid, Mr.Siimkins, that you have been badly advised - Birmingham is NOT a tax haven. . .'

Domino Effect of Rising Gas Prices.