Strategic Planning Fan Gifts

'The Humpty-Dumpty project is way over budget.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

'Why can't we just kick Caesar upstairs?'

Failure/Due Diligence

Plan 'A', Plan 'B' - "I say we should go with plan 'A', sir."

Jack and Ina build their dream house.

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

"We've developed a five year plan that includes ample provisions for another five year plan if this one doesn't work."

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.

"After an extensive analysis of your company's strengths and weaknesses our recommendation is to give us more money."

"De l'huile bouillante, pas du fromage fondu!"

"Does it ever cross your mind that we make a lot of money because no one else wants to do what we do?"

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"Not the most impressive strategic plan I've ever seen."

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

"There goes the person that proved the Peter principal faster than anyone in history."

Daimler, ChryslerSturm and Drang meeting

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

"So, gentlemen.... By investing in this time vortex manipulator, we will be able to cross the bridges before we come to them."

US fears missile competition.

'Apparently, wild hopes and dreams, re-enacted by Barbie and Ken, are no substitute for a solid business plan.'

People, what a fantastic opportunity for a reset!

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

"More specifically, we're looking for someone to take care of things that are bound to happen eventually."

"Ah yes… this is Mr Shipley, our new head of strategically placed objects."

"I'm Action Plan Man. Good luck finding someone to impliment it."