Field Guru Gifts

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Tartine

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'C'mon get it straight.'

Fly Football

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Allotment

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

Sale! Weed Whackers

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

"Which of these will look the prettiest without the others?"

'Oh Hi!'

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

Wordplay: Gastropod.

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

ACME Balloon Company.

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Do you have anything bigger?

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"