Fiancee Gifts

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

'Darling, how romantic...a pre-nup.'

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Why lawyers should never try to write their own vows.

'Bob will be along shortly to marry you. He's looking over a mint-condition, 1965 Mustang that just went on sale.'

'I love your spindly legs, your tiny pinhead and your bulging thorax - marry me!'

"'Better or worse' and 'richer or poorer' are NOT choices."

"Pre-nups are healthy for a relationship. It's good for our lawyers to get to know one another."

"I think we'd make a good team!"

'Full refund if she comes to her senses within 24 hours.'

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

"Yes!!! I will marry you!"

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"This doesn't have anything to do with the falling price of oil, does it?"

'On second thought, let's just be friends.'

Tunnel of Love/Lover's Leap.

'Jim called to say he apologizes to you and the 300 guests, but he'll have to marry you next week instead. He totally forgot he made plans to go to a boat show this weekend.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'So who gets the apple tree and who gets the fig leaves?' 'The First Prenuptial Agreement.'

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Tunnel of commitment.

'I want to spend my nine lives with you: Will you marry me?'

"Yes, I do need an answer right now."

'..to be your lawfully wedded husband? If so, signify by saying one of the following...'I definitely do', 'I might', 'I don't', or 'I definitely don't'.'

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

'It'll never last!' Sceptics at the wedding of a rabbit and a carrot.

Ok you're right about everything, and whatever I've done, I'm sorry..

'Forget the appraised value. What would a pawnshop give me for it?'

"I've done the numbers, and I will marry you."

'We come as a package - Mother and me.'

The proposal.