Fiancee Pillows

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

'Darling, how romantic...a pre-nup.'

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Why lawyers should never try to write their own vows.

'Bob will be along shortly to marry you. He's looking over a mint-condition, 1965 Mustang that just went on sale.'

"'Better or worse' and 'richer or poorer' are NOT choices."

"I think we'd make a good team!"

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

"Pre-nups are healthy for a relationship. It's good for our lawyers to get to know one another."

'Full refund if she comes to her senses within 24 hours.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"This doesn't have anything to do with the falling price of oil, does it?"

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

'So who gets the apple tree and who gets the fig leaves?' 'The First Prenuptial Agreement.'

'Jim called to say he apologizes to you and the 300 guests, but he'll have to marry you next week instead. He totally forgot he made plans to go to a boat show this weekend.'

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

'On second thought, let's just be friends.'

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

'Forget the appraised value. What would a pawnshop give me for it?'

'It will never last...!'

'I want to spend my nine lives with you: Will you marry me?'

A Zircon Is Forever

"I've done the numbers, and I will marry you."

'Are you willing to release your medical records?'

The proposal.

'It'll never last!' Sceptics at the wedding of a rabbit and a carrot.

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

'We come as a package - Mother and me.'

"Yes, I do need an answer right now."

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

Ok you're right about everything, and whatever I've done, I'm sorry..

Tunnel of commitment.

'It just wouldn't work out, Derek. I'm from a red state, and you're from a blue state.'