Fiancé Gifts

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

"That's out of my price range. Do you have anything that's free?"

'Didn't you get my e-mail'

'How worse? Give me the worst-case scenario.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

'Darling, how romantic...a pre-nup.'

Last night of freedom.

'Subject to contract, will you be my wife?'

'I love it when you spoon me.' 'I love it when you fork me.'

'Heads I do, tails I'm outta here.'

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

'I reject the terms of the contract!'

'This is the era of transparency. I'm marrying you for your money.'

'Just a doctor! I thought you were a specialist!'

'Of course it's a real diamond. You think I'd spend eighty bucks for a fake?'

Why lawyers should never try to write their own vows.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"OK, I took a hike. Now will you marry me?"

'Do you cater weddings?' Why the groom is never put in charge of anything.

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"'Better or worse' and 'richer or poorer' are NOT choices."

'I hate to rush you, but I'm getting a leg cramp.'

'Looks like they were really meant for each other.'

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

'Bob will be along shortly to marry you. He's looking over a mint-condition, 1965 Mustang that just went on sale.'

"I really need to start wearing clothes this time of year."

"If anyone thinks the bride could do better, speak now or..."

"Pre-nups are healthy for a relationship. It's good for our lawyers to get to know one another."

"Damn it, Gareth, we agreed - no ex-girlfriends invited"

"Till death do us part? Does that mean by natural causes, or would an accident count?"

'Full refund if she comes to her senses within 24 hours.'

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Last one, Joe...I promised myself I'd only marry the man who could correctly finish this sentence...The perfect man is...'

"No, we're not Jewish, but we think it would be fun for our reception's theme to be 'A Jewish Wedding.'"

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."