Festive Sense Of Humor Pillows

Please Help - Low Elf Esteem

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

Christmas Presents.

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

'I get that reaction a lot.'

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

'Well, hello, Mr. Christmas!'

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

Santa hosing the Chimney.

"Well, if you expect me to be good, you'll have to bring me something better than the rubbish I got last year!"

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

C.P.A.

Ever vigilant, the restive Claus uses it to get an early start on the naughty and nice list.

"You've got a fairy light at the back."

Pinata Trophy

Santa incorporates therapy into his repertoire.

"Merry Christmas. You Cheerful, Chirpring, Cheeping, Tweeting, Tw*ttering, Twittering Tw*t!"