Festive Preparation Gifts

'Let the Christmas spirit last all year: own something electronic.'

Holiday Shopping

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

Halloween may be a little different this year.

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

Christmas Pets

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

Panettone

Turkey Autopsy

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

Ice Skater

Santa Dog

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

Hold those deer to you near to you this Christmas.

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

Twas the week before Christmas and all thru the house

"That's ridiculous. A red nose wouldn't work as a GPS system."

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

Christmas TV...

Santa's wash day.

Easter Egg Delivery

The other days of the year...

Merry Kissmas

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

O Christmas Tea

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

Everything for a buck.

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

Thanksgiving Feast. Get lots of turkey, but not too much of you'll have to take a pause at the nap box. I'm skipping the cranberries and going for the green beans and the potatoes. I'm at the stuffing now and getting bonus points for extra gravy! Hey! There's a shortcut through the corn, straight to the pumpkin pie! I win! Not so fast. You missed the most important spot where you give thanks for your family and friends. Oh, you're right. It's okay that I didn't win. I'll get you tomor

Snowman carrot substitute.