Festive Ponderer Gifts

'I get stressed at Christmas time too, but it's not for the same reasons as you...'

'You should've guessed people would cut down on sweeps in this economy.'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

The Dance of the Penguins Once the March Is Over

"I don't believe in you!"

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

Farmer Christmas.

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

'It's the middle of the summer. You've been hallucinating again.'

Mice playing double bass

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

Frog Baby Names

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

Easter Bunny

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to the less fortunate...

"Edward, you are already more than Christmassy enough."

"That would've gone better if I'd gotten here with my gift list instead of my spelling list."

Dog's Christmas list.

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

Snowman throws snowball at Santa.

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

Scary Face at Window

"Go as a witch. Your room hasn't seen a broom in months."

"When I was small, Santa Claus brought a lot of things...but the most important... He brought families together."

'...if you look at it in the right way it begins to make sense.'

Fingers

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

Full Serve/Elf Serve

How to believe in yourself.