Festive Ponderer Gifts

'I get stressed at Christmas time too, but it's not for the same reasons as you...'

'You should've guessed people would cut down on sweeps in this economy.'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

The Dance of the Penguins Once the March Is Over

Fleas Navidad.

"I don't believe in you!"

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

Farmer Christmas.

Mice playing double bass

Frog Baby Names

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

'It's the middle of the summer. You've been hallucinating again.'

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

"That would've gone better if I'd gotten here with my gift list instead of my spelling list."

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

Dog's Christmas list.

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to the less fortunate...

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

Snowman throws snowball at Santa.

"Edward, you are already more than Christmassy enough."

Easter Bunny

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

'...if you look at it in the right way it begins to make sense.'

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

Full Serve/Elf Serve

Scary Face at Window

"Go as a witch. Your room hasn't seen a broom in months."

"When I was small, Santa Claus brought a lot of things...but the most important... He brought families together."

Fingers