Festive Period Ponderer Gifts

'It's the middle of the summer. You've been hallucinating again.'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

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"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

Frog Baby Names

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

"That would've gone better if I'd gotten here with my gift list instead of my spelling list."

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

Bumper Limos

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

"I'll have whatever they're having."

'...if you look at it in the right way it begins to make sense.'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

Fingers

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Thomas Aquinas

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"We don't make toys any more. I send the elves to buy them in China."

I'm tired of blessings in disguise--if it's al the same to you, I want one I can recognize immediately!

The Quack Quack Diaries - Quack Quack Gets Repossessed

"All I'm saying, Dear, is that sometimes I get tired of vegetarian restaurants!"

The food was nice...but something was missing.

'Mom, it's doing it again'

'Just thinking about New Year's resolutions makes me tired.'

Hmmm... what's my real purpose? Why am I here? - 'Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Let me guess!' - 'Go on, then.' - 'Is your life a homage mediocrity?' - 'Ouch.' - 'Quizzes are fun! Ask me more!' -

How To Sit When You Are A Kid