Festive Period Ponderer Mugs

'It's the middle of the summer. You've been hallucinating again.'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

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'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

Frog Baby Names

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

"That would've gone better if I'd gotten here with my gift list instead of my spelling list."

Bumper Limos

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

"I'll have whatever they're having."

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

'...if you look at it in the right way it begins to make sense.'

Fingers

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

Thomas Aquinas

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"We don't make toys any more. I send the elves to buy them in China."

"All I'm saying, Dear, is that sometimes I get tired of vegetarian restaurants!"

Hmmm... what's my real purpose? Why am I here? - 'Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Let me guess!' - 'Go on, then.' - 'Is your life a homage mediocrity?' - 'Ouch.' - 'Quizzes are fun! Ask me more!' -

'Just thinking about New Year's resolutions makes me tired.'

The food was nice...but something was missing.

How To Sit When You Are A Kid

"How much of a gratuity does Santa usually get?"