Festive Paradox Enthusiast Pillows

First Thanksgiving already bumps into Christmas.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"I don't believe in you!"

'I hate all holidays!'

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

" ... And the kids only like me for my presents."

"Repent, lest the axe of judgement fall upon thee."

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

Xmas Labour Shortage

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

'Well it was a pretty good year.'

'Houston..Er..I don't know how to tell you this..'

"All I know is that some of the best Christmas presents I've ever gotten have come from secular humanists."

'I'm facing unemployment! The world is running out of nice kids!'

"I'm afraid I can't do anything unless you have a receipt."

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

"I'm looking for something that expresses the spirit of the season but doesn't neglect the need for a credible deterrent."

'Ms Phelps, can you help me? I seem to have misplaced my Christmas spirit.'

'Despite what they sing, I don't think Christmas is really the season to be jolly...'

"Mom, if nothing in life is free, how do you explain Christmas presents?"

"It's a list of tariffs to be paid"

'Free gifts to every kid in the whole world? -- What are you running for?'