Festive Paradox Enthusiast Pillows

First Thanksgiving already bumps into Christmas.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"I don't believe in you!"

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

'I hate all holidays!'

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

" ... And the kids only like me for my presents."

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."

"Repent, lest the axe of judgement fall upon thee."

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

What a stupid custom! I like it. Teddy. Twig. But I don't believe in Santa and neither do you. So don't hang your stocking! I do believe in mom and dad! Ahh

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'

Xmas Labour Shortage

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

'Houston..Er..I don't know how to tell you this..'

'Well it was a pretty good year.'

'I'm facing unemployment! The world is running out of nice kids!'

"All I know is that some of the best Christmas presents I've ever gotten have come from secular humanists."

"I'm afraid I can't do anything unless you have a receipt."

"Mom, if nothing in life is free, how do you explain Christmas presents?"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

'Free gifts to every kid in the whole world? -- What are you running for?'

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

"I'm looking for something that expresses the spirit of the season but doesn't neglect the need for a credible deterrent."

'Ms Phelps, can you help me? I seem to have misplaced my Christmas spirit.'

"It's a list of tariffs to be paid"