Festive Meal Planners Pillows

Santa Claus's Mail

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Halloween may be a little different this year.

Panettone

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

Turkey Autopsy

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

North Pole twinned with Amazon

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

"As your CPA, I would recommend you count the number of eggs before you hide them."

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

Making Christmas Pudding.

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

'Sure, I'll take a meeting - but only if you've been very, very good,'

Suddenly, the line went dead.

Santa School.

"Perhaps we should have postponed our downsizing operation until after the Xmas party."

'Gosh, he looks so peaceful lying there, I almost hate to wake him up and put him in the oven.'

"Wow, the literary life is exhausting! Just when I finish 'What I Did On My Summer Vacation,' I need to begin my 'What I Want For Christmas' list!"

Catering for a large family.

'Ta Da! A brand new set of festive outdoor dinnerware for all my summer entertaining!!'

Thanksgiving in Antarctica.

Large man uses 'Fat Nav' to lead him to large Christmas pudding.

'What are you doing here? It's only November.'

Halloween next exit. . . Thanksgiving, 27 days. . . Christmas, 54 days.

Prosecco and Pudding