Christmas Dinner Planner Pillows

You are what you eat.

'I sent out for everything.'

Santa Claus's Mail

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

The ecumenical dinner party.

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

'I hear there is a mighty big turkey in these woods.'

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"This one is perfect for Thanksgiving. It comes prestained in cranberry sauce, gravy and pumpkin pie."

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

North Pole twinned with Amazon

'Hold it...I've go a reprieve from the Governor!'

"I stuffed it with things found around the house."

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

I don't do wishbones. I do just-make-it-happen bones.

"You have reservations for 7 o'clock? Ideally..."

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"This time when they show us their latest acquisition, we'll gush regardless."

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

'May I recommend the unlimited slop trough?'

"I'd like to order the baked sea bass, but I see it's off the menu."

"Dig in. It's a medallion-of-veal look-alike."

'Order fast, folks - the prices have an expiration date.'

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

"Now let's share a moment of silence in memory of our portfolio."