Holiday Dinner Planner Pillows

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

Suddenly, the line went dead.

'Gosh, he looks so peaceful lying there, I almost hate to wake him up and put him in the oven.'

Airlines

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Mr. Punch in Venice

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

Italia tours

Heading off with a packed bag

'I hear there is a mighty big turkey in these woods.'

The ecumenical dinner party.

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

"This one is perfect for Thanksgiving. It comes prestained in cranberry sauce, gravy and pumpkin pie."

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"I know it’s a challenge, but it needs your input!" "...Your breadth of knowledge of different interest groups, religions...cultures!" "Right, so the staff Christmas meal will be a traditional lacto-vegan one at a Thai restaurant sometime in March?" "Do you think the Pagans will be OK with that?"

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'Hold it...I've go a reprieve from the Governor!'

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

Stuffing the turkey.

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

Twas the week before Christmas and all thru the house

Man on beach realizes laying down flattens his stomach

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

'We must have everything... this is all that's left!'