Holiday Dinner Pillows

'Keep carving, there are still a few identifiable parts.'

Uncles of the Holidays

"Honey, this fruitcake is fantastic!" "Empty plate here! Gimme some more!" "That's because I replaced the candied cherries and nutmeg with lithium and Prozac!" "You gonna eat the rest of that?!"

Prayer to Share

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

"Do I still have to sit at the kid's table?"

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

"I hear you helped make the stuffing. I like raisins."

Stuffing the turkey.

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"I stuffed it with things found around the house."

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

Chicken

'Pigs feet, sir? 'ARE THEY PICKLED?'

'I know it's daring, but I always try one new recipe for Thanksgiving dinner.'

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

Adult Table - Kids Table - Kids' Friends Table

Suddenly, the line went dead.

"It helps if you think of it as a turkey."

'Mary, you must give me your stuffing recipe.'

'Turkey's okay, but most of the trimmings are vegetables.'

"Put it on pause, son, and come to Thanksgiving dinner."

"I'm making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Do you have Turkey Helper?"

'Gosh, he looks so peaceful lying there, I almost hate to wake him up and put him in the oven.'