Holiday Dinner Host Pillows

'Mary, you must give me your stuffing recipe.'

Grace For Flies

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Party time.

'We haven't had a family get-together like this since we were kids - Hey! Where are mum and dad?'

Horn of Leftovers

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

I don't do wishbones. I do just-make-it-happen bones.

Christmas Canapes

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

Home for the Holidays

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

"It helps if you think of it as a turkey."

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

Trustworthy Authority.

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"The host? He'll be the guy standing here, alone, when the wine's gone."

Blowing out the Christmas Pudding.

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

"She can't take any constructive criticism."

After-Life Mints

Dog in Christmas outfit with cracker.

"You don't use a cookbook, Tia Carmen?"

"Do I still have to sit at the kid's table?"