Christmas Dinner Planner T-Shirts

You are what you eat.

'I sent out for everything.'

Santa Claus's Mail

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

'I hear there is a mighty big turkey in these woods.'

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

The ecumenical dinner party.

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"This one is perfect for Thanksgiving. It comes prestained in cranberry sauce, gravy and pumpkin pie."

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Hold it...I've go a reprieve from the Governor!'

North Pole twinned with Amazon

"I stuffed it with things found around the house."

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

'May I recommend the unlimited slop trough?'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

'Order fast, folks - the prices have an expiration date.'

"You have reservations for 7 o'clock? Ideally..."

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

"This time when they show us their latest acquisition, we'll gush regardless."

"I'd like to order the baked sea bass, but I see it's off the menu."

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

"Dig in. It's a medallion-of-veal look-alike."

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

"Now let's share a moment of silence in memory of our portfolio."

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

"Rosalie's signature chicken dish is simplicity itself."